Your Beautiful, Dark, Twisted, Fantasy Football: The Draft

Hey there Sports Pros and Average Bros! It's nearing the fall and you know what that means!

And even cooler than that, is everyone's favorite football based past time!

That's right! It's fantasy football time again! Some drafts are going on now and the rest are coming up fast! As any good Fantasy player will tell you, you must prep for this wonderful event. If you're idea of pre-draft research is picking up a two bit fantasy magazine on the way to the draft, you might as well buy a box of tissues too, cuz you'll be crying all season long. Studies have shown that last minute preppers come in last place 150% of the time. That's a legit study!

So of course you'll buy your ESPN Fantasy Football magazine, and study depth charts and listen to Matthew Berry. And I'm sure you will have lots of fun in your league while you come in fifth place.

FIFTH PLACE!

Cuz that's where you're gunna be if you consider all that "enough research"! Is that where you want to be!? If so, then fine. Enjoy mediocrity and being able to say "If only Ray Rice didn't get hurt in week 7, I totally would have made the playoffs!" You hold onto that. I'm sure someone cares.


If you're not fine with that, keep reading.

The Selfish Truth: Injuries in the NFL

4,493

That's the number of injuries that afflicted NFL players over the 2011 season. This is kind of a scary statistic when you consider the NFL only has 1,696 active players at any given point. This is mostly minor injuries that only hold a player out of practice for around a week, but even those injuries can lead to missed games. 

There is no greater shame in sports than when an athlete can't compete because of injury. It's like if you had the job of your dreams and you couldn't go because of something out of your control. It hurts the athlete most of all, of course. But other people are affected by it as well.

What can you do? Fandom v. Fantasy

Picture this!

You're at your annual fantasy football draft. You and the guys are sharing some brews and some stories of last years season about how Kenny Britt didn't pan out just the way you expected (again). You get to your pick (number 10...of course) and you look to your needs and who's available. You're okay at Running Back and QB for now but what you could really use is a solid Receiver. You've also heard a lot about how Tight Ends are the big thing this year. And Matthew Berry said it?! That guy's info is gold! Sign me up! AND You have the wrap around pick and can scoop up that WR and that TE in one fell swoop! Look's like this blind squirrel just found a nut!

Let's see who's the next best players available! It's Jason Witten and Dez Bryant. The guys behind them  are a ways off. Great right?!

What if you're an Eagle's Fan? You want to win your fantasy league, but the thought of cheering for two Cowboys players every week makes your stomach turn. If they both have big games for you, odds are this could lead to a Dallas victory. And Tony Romo will jump around with his smug smile and think he's an elite quarter back and Chris Collinsworth will confirm this. And you wanted it that way. So it's all your fault.

2012 Sports Pro and the Average Bro Bucket List

Well, here we are! It's 2012! It feels like it's been such a long time coming. Thanks to the Mayans and crazy people that misinterpret Mayan calendars, this has been deemed humanities' last year ever! That's some pretty heavy stuff to deal with! I've got so much left to do! I just bought a sweet outfit at Express! I haven't even gotten a chance to wear that high quality apparel! (Yes Express Inc. We would love you to be our sponsor).

Phew...Take it easy there Average Bro! You're getting ahead of yourself! You'll have plenty of time to wear the amazing clothes from Express. 

Sorry Pros and Bros! Got a little crazy there. We all know the world's not going to end. Thanks to Back to the Future II, we know that, due to some crazy realignment, the Chicago Cubs will sweep the Miami Marlins in the 2015 World Series. So we know the Apocalypse isn't happening until at least then. C'mon people! Use your heads!

Buuuuuut....Just in case I'm wrong, I guess it never hurts to be prepared. So, as a huge sports fan, I am making a Bucket List. The Official Sports Pro and the Average Bro Bucket List! The top 10 things to do in 2012! It's pretty much what we would all love to in any given year then taking it to the next "last-year-on-Earth" level.

1. Go to Superbowl XLVI
• Well, duh! What guy doesn't want to go to the Super Bowl? Especially the last Super Bowl ever! I want to take my talents as the Average Bro to Indianapolis for the big game. But why stop there?! Why not rush on the field? Why not rush on the field waving a huge Sports Pro and the Average Bro flag! (Yeah...I took a marketing class one time.) I figure I'll be okay, because if the security at Lucas Oil Stadium could stop a streaker, they would just put them on the D-Line. Heaven knows no Colt could finish a tackle on me.
2. Visit the Steel City
• Whether you like the Steelers or not, you have to admit they are a force in the football world. Six Lombardi Trophies didn't just fall into their lap. They had to work for them. But they won't be working for one this year. So instead of the super bowl parade, I'd like to get a bunch of people and go to Primanti Bros. After that we'll go to the center of the city and all Tebow at the same time! Greatest flash mob ever! I'm sure at least half of us will survive!

Cool Start Bro!: Week One Bros and Busts.

We last left off with me attempting to explain just how important it is to stay level-headed, and mentally stable, throughout the entirety of the fantasy season; no rash decisions, no feelings about sleepers, and certainly no trades without consulting your uncle Sports Pro first (as my uncle Sports Pro used to tell me). So hopefully you followed my insight, your draft in turn was a success, and your team, and season, looks very promising, if so then I congratulate you. This however is a very small minority, for the most of us will be staring at a borderline team wondering what to do, but it’s okay, there’s no need to panic, especially not today. All you need is a little bit of help, a little bit of advice on how to start your season off right, and with these next few days being the most crucial ones of the year, the days in which we must decide whom we will start/sit for week one, I’ve decided to make it my responsibility to be that help. Now I’m sure, as I stated in previous articles, you may not truly trust what I’m about to say, and due to this lack of trust you may turn to other fantasy writers for advice, and I completely understand, but that would be a terrible move. All the help you could ever need is with me, a man who’s not afraid to admit that he’s made, and learned from, plenty of terrible fantasy decisions in the past…..

Fantasy Success? Why Yes!: The Formula

Hello my fellow sports fans, and welcome to the Sports Pros first ever edition of “Fantasy Success? Why Yes!” For weeks I have been waiting to make my blog debut, struggling with ideas on how I can make my first impression perfect. My original plan, back in May, was to wait for the summers upcoming World Cup, where I would dazzle readers with my vast knowledge of the world’s most popular sport in a column I would call “ Soccer: Two cups awesome, one cup world”. I soon came to realize that in fact there was no world cup this year (don’t count the women’s) and that they only play every four years; which is shocking for how popular soccer is. (sarcastic if you an American reading this, and completely truthful if your European) So instead of waiting three more years to write my column, I decided to take charge and write one on what most people want to read, fantasy football.