No Time like Tebow Time!

Today's post is written by Guest Bro, Chris Housel.

Tim Tebow doesn’t own a watch, it’s always Tebow Time. This critically bashed Christian Football player has become an absolute phenomenon, only building since the day he got drafted. “Why?” Some people ask, but think about it. He is always looking to run, which is immediately contrasting the fact that he is a white quarterback and most white QB’s are pocket passers. He is extremely open about his religion, he’s a lefty, and he’s a bulldozer. The kid can get Chick-Fil-A on Sundays. Are people jealous? Or can they just not fathom how he can play quarterback and win football games? I think it’s a little bit of both.

Here’s a kid who was one of the top high school QB recruits in the nation and won his high school championship playing defensive tackle. He then went to win a Heisman in his sophomore year at Florida, a feat most recently accomplished by the Washington R*dsk*ns very own: Sexy Rexy. That’s how you knew Tebow was gonna be awesome. Then the guy wins two national championships and wills his team to a win with this crazy speech at halftime, which is something that Disney should grab because it’s gonna be a crazy movie someday. It’ll put Rudy to shame. Anyway, he graduates Florida with a degree in family, youth, and community sciences, which is a degree that probably has less value than the plaque with his speech on it. Seriously though, what kind of job does that degree attain? Babysitter? Stay at home dad? It doesn’t matter, he’s just so awesome.

Mel Kiper and what seems to be his annoying little step brother, Todd McShay thought Tebow would fall to about the third round and some team would take a ridiculous chance on a kid who’s throwing motion was made out to be caught in a river of molasses. They were so stupid. Maybe they should spend less time on their hair and more time researching Josh McDaniels. Was his dad a serial gambler? Probably not, but he could have been. So on draft day, Josh reached down deep into his potential made up family gambling history and took Tim with the 25th pick in the draft.

 Tim played like three games his first season because it took Denver 13 of those games to realize how bad ol’ Neck-Beard Orton was. I’m sure it didn’t help that Eddie Royal forgot how to catch, but Tim was thrown in there regardless and didn’t play too bad. Then this season it all changed.

John Elway came back into town with that smug grin on his face and gave Tim Tebow that purple Vortex football and told him to go play with it on the practice squad with Eric Decker so John Fox can learn how to grow a beard on his neck, and so the story goes. Tim was knocked down to fourth string behind Orton, the absolutely gorgeous Brady Quinn (wait, can we stop for a moment? Brady Quinn has got to be the most attractive QB in the NFL. 1. Quinn 2. Brady 3. Rodgers. Why does he get no recognition, but that’s for another time), and the practice squad sensation Adam Weber. John Fox must have been Jewish or something. Or an atheist, because if he was jewish then that would mean he didn’t think Christ came yet and then he might be lead to believe that Tebow was the closest thing to the initial description. But it was probably because he was an atheist.

And Elway didn’t want him starting because he is a polar opposite from Elway’s attributes and he was Denver’s greatest QB ever. But after the Broncos went 1-4 John Elway woke up and had a red bull. He didn’t however, know that Red Bull’s secret ingredient is Tim Tebow’s sweat, and then he announced Tebow as starter. Or at least that’s what I thought happened. In reality he was probably like “oh we’re 1-4 but those Colts are REALLY bad. We might win like two more games with Orton as starter, but if we put Tim Tebow in we’d have a real shot at Andrew Luck right?” No. Wrong John Elway.

Tim Tebow almost won the game against the Chargers by having an incredible fourth quarter where he didn’t spin, but the world rotated and he evaded tacklers. He then beat a competitive Dolphin’s team who was just starting to figure it out defensively, in an incredible fourth quarter and overtime. After getting blown out by the Lions, which is not going to be talked about, he won another four in a row, three on the road beating teams like the Jets and Raiders. People thought Tebow Time would be like a kids birthday party and last like 3 hours while the parents sit around and have nothing to do, but it wasn’t. It’s 8 weeks strong now, and he’s 6-1 as a starter and he can barely complete a pass. How are you gonna deny someone that created a cool slang term for randomly praying?

The kid just wins.  He only needs two completed passes to do it, and 23 runs.  He is either hated or loved by America, no in-between.  I see him taking this team to the playoffs.  The Broncos were once looked at as if they should be one of those horses that are shot because they have no value to the world, but since Tebow Time began the defense has improved and everyone is playing with more heart, and there is no disputing that.  It is going to be an interesting development, because Denver can only keep this up if they build the franchise around Tebow, which is not something I’m certain they will do.  If they or another team takes that chance, I believe they will have long term success if Tebow continues to work on his accuracy and footwork because if he can win with his current passing ability and can still improve.  The sky is the limit. But one thing is for sure: Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas, and so does Lou Holtz.  I heard Urban Meyer bought Elway a pair for Christmas too. 

You can follow Chris Housel for funny tweets about sports and more @ChrisTebow