Over the past couple months, I have written articles on a couple different articles on a couple different sports. Over this time some of you may have forgotten who wrote them. I'll give you a hint. Scroll down to the bottom of this article and see who wrote it. Go ahead. I'll wait.
That's right. These hard hitting news stories were not written by Adam Schefter or Buster Olney or even John Buccigross. They were written by some Average Bro. I'd like to think I've gained some sports knowledge over the years but one thing remains. I am an average bro. So with this article, I'm gunna try to get back to my roots. And there is no better way for me to do that, than with an article on College Football.
I'll admit. I've never really gotten into college football. I watched Penn State play some other team in the Orange Bowl back in eighth or ninth grade, and I attended a Division 3 game at Kutztown University. That however is where my history ends. It's not that I haven't been interested, I just never let myself jump into it. The number of excuses I have rival that of my excuses for why I never watched baseball. First of all, there are a lot of colleges out there, and a lot of them have football teams! I can barely keep up with a 32 team league where all the players are on Gatorade and Nike commercials 5 times a day! I can't keep track of who's in what conference and what conferences have any kind of shot to winning the BCS. And don't even ask me about the BCS.
Well today I have an announcement to make. I am through with excuses. This is the year where the Average Bro tosses his hat into the ring as viewer and fan of College Football. I thank you all for your support.
Okay, now let's get into it. For me to sit here and write a list of things I don't know about college football would be ridiculous and make this a very long article. And since this is already a fairly long article, we don't need to make it any longer (except with these long sentences concerning how long my article should be). No, what I'll do instead is just write a list of what I do know. I promise this won't take long.
1. Some successful college teams.
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| Man! These kids must be majoring in Wit with a minor in rhyming! |
Okay, so I am aware of teams that have had some big wins in the past. Auburn obviously just won the Championship game. I also know they had to vacate it. I know that USC had a run of success back when Reggie Bush played there. I also know that they had to vacate some titles and Reggie Bush had to return his Heisman. I know that the University of Miami had some wins. And we know what happens there. This is getting kind of repetitive. Let's cover this generally.
1a. Most successful college teams do it through cheating.
There we go. I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule. I'm sure we'll find out some bad stuff about Oregon in a few years. Boise is probably clean but they have no chance at getting to the big game so it's irrelevant.
Leading more on that fact.
2. The NCAA is unreasonable when it comes to football.
Maybe it's because they are more in the public eye then other programs or maybe it's just because they break more rules, but whatever it is, the NCAA comes down way harder on football than any other college sport. I know there are some violations that are reasonable (residents of both Columbus and Miami know what I'm talking about), but some are just downright dumb. I don't think a pay-for-play system would help anything but I'm not so much talking about the illegal benefits in cash form but in the form of getting a ride in a golf cart or doing better in classes because they're on the football team. Hey nerds! Football players are going to get good grades no matter how much harder you work. That's the way the world works, didn't you go to high school? Now go found Microsoft and quit complaining!
3. A successful college player doesn't always translate to a successful NFL player.
...which in my opinion means you weren't very successful in college either. Think about it: Say I go to med school and I ace through all my classes and I'm the best at every procedure and I can cut up a cadaver like Sweeny Todd. So I come out of school and all the best hospitals are calling me trying to have me come to their hospital. So I get "drafted" to one of the best hospitals in the nation and with my first attempt at a real procedure, I kill a guy. It happens. The first one's always hardest. But then I just keep on killing people! It doesn't matter how good I was in college if all I do is kill people in my career.
That being said, I know there are a lot of college stand outs that just didn't excel in the NFL. Tim Tebow, Jamarcus Russel, Brian Bosworth, Tim Tebow, Brady Quinn, Matt Leinart. Oh and Tim Tebow.
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| "Did he mention me? I think he forgot to mention me." |
4. Rule differences
Really the only difference I know is that you don't have to be tagged down when you hit the ground. Probably didn't warrant a whole category.
5. College football has the most diverse mascots ever
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| "There he is! That's that man that popped my pa!" |
I'm all for diversity. But this is ridiculous. I just went through a bunch of these on Sports Pickle. I know a lot of these are party schools but I didn't know the mascot designers were getting drunk with the students and what not. Reckless.
Okay. Now for the stuff I want to learn. I could have commissioned someone to write some articles on College Football but I want to learn from this.
1. Who the best draft picks/Heisman candidates are
And not only just reading off of Mel Kipers big board ( 'cuz whenever he talks I just feel big and bored...BABOOM!) I want to say, "Man! That guy would be a good pick up for (enter unsuccessful 2011 NFL team with high draft pick here [please not Washington])." Or, "His skills seem good but I don't know that it would work out in an NFL scheme." I want to have that kind of insight!
2. How do they work the Bowl Series
I hear its a corrupt system based mainly around profit and advertising. I want to know more about this corrupt system. I mean there's gotta be some kind of rhyme or reason to it right? No? Well I want to find out about it anyway. That way I can decide if I want to place my allegiance with this corporate system that doesn't make sense or with Mark Cuban and his potential playoff system that will never happen. Decisions, decisions!
3. Who that crazy guy who wears all the mascot heads is...and why?
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| "Well my first career choice was a Mel Brooks impersonator. Number 2 was wearing funny heads every week." |
Okay I actually do kind of know who that guy is. Thanks to ESPN sending its anchors back to their high school, I'm slightly more familiar with him, but I couldn't tell you his name or who he played for if you asked me. But more then that I want to know where the mascot heads idea came from. What is the history of it? And what does this man's closet look like? I worked at Chuck E. Cheese for a little bit and every time I walked into the closet to get in the mouse costume, the head hanging on the wall always made me jump a little. It's probably real creepy.
Anyway, I'm happy with where this is taking me so far. I'd love your guys' feedback. Don't answer any of my questions because I want to learn for myself, but drop some support, encouragement, hate ( I can take it) whatever may be. Because one way or another, I'm taking you on this journey with me. Don't be afraid just come along for the ride! (due to NCAA rules I can't really give you a ride because you would be accepting illegal benefits. So hit up Terrelle Pryor. I hear he knows some people at car dealerships.)
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