2014 Sixers: I Sure Hope This Works

Chart does not actually depict Sixers trends...just their lack of awesomeness.

I usually try not to do posts just about the home team, but I think the home team is enough of a national story laughing stock that a post is warranted.

The Tankdelphia Seventy Tankers are well on their way to a top draft pick after the end of this horrifically bad season. The end of a season that cannot get here any faster. The ends justify the means though, right? If the Sixers win a Championship in the next 5 3 years, no one will care that they tore the team down to the rafters to get there. They'll talk about it, because haters always gonna hate! But what will we care? Sixers will be champs again after all these years.

Except, I don't know if I'm cool with the tanking. It's lame...sooooper lame! Watching games is painful. I subscribe to a service that texts me reminders about Sixers games and final scores. I'm wondering how many variations of losing they have on tap. Sixers "slide". Sixers "fall". [Opponent] "top" Sixers. Sixers "come up short"..which is really the best one of all. They came up short? Like a cockroach comes up short to Shaq? Yeah I guess short covers it. Frankly, I'm surprised they are still sending me texts at all. If I see this one day I wouldn't be the least bit surprised.

Am I looking forward to the team of the future? Yes. Am I going to sit here and pretend I'm perfectly okay with what's going on now? Not anymore. One more win would be nice, y'know?

Does anyone remember the 2014 3-0 Sixers? That was awesome! I promised myself after the Heat game that I would name my son Michael Carter Williams Bro. I convinced myself that if we were good we could still clear some cap space and attract some free agents. Those dreams have all gone by the wayside but I still can't forget those 3 magical games. It was almost a perfect season! Almost...

I've written in past articles about how it's no guarantee that the worst team in the league gets the number one pick. This is true, but there is even less of a guarantee that the best team in the league will get the best player. And if we end up coming out of this draft with a flop of a number one pick, we'll be doing this all over again very soon.

And I don't think my heart can take it.