Thursday, January 26, 2012

Sweet Rhymes and Basketball Times: Grammy Albums for Basketball Outcomes.

Pizza and Wings. Lewis and Clark. Milk and Cookies. Sanford and Sons. Music and Sports.
The list above contains 10 items, 5 combinations, that both, (a) explain my life in a 5 combination list and (b) are undeniably meant for one another, save for maybe the “Sanford and Sons” one, never really saw that show so who knows, but the other four there’s no disputing. Now I’d love to explain my pleasant addiction to milk and cookies, or my passion for the accomplishments of Lewis and Clark, but this is a sports blog. So with the Grammy’s right around the corner, and the NBA season nearing its midway point, I figured I’d arise from my fantasy-football-depression-induced-coma, referred to as FFDIC in the medical world, and finally write a thrilling SPAB article on my favorite combination of those listed above; Music and Sports.
Before we begin, I’d just like to say that I know very little about basketball, and can’t play a lick of it, however, I’m fairly familiar with music, hip-hop in particular, and consider myself an expert at deciphering what albums are absolutely terrible from those that are “Award Worthy”. In short, this article is an attempt at translating my ability of finding “Award Worthy” music into finding “Award Worthy” NBA teams.
Let’s begin the ceremonies!


Tonight’s first award is……
The Award for Best Eastern Conference Team.
With iconic Hip-Hop cities like Detroit, Chicago, New York, Atlanta, and Philadelphia all in the Eastern Conference, I found it only fitting to equate this conference to the Grammy for Best Rap Album.
The Nominees:
1.    Chicago Bulls |16-4|. (Lasers [Lupe Fiasco]): Is there anything more fitting then the Chicago native Lupe Fiasco representing the Bulls? This album, led by one prominent star, was one of the most popular albums this year. Similarly, the Bulls, led by one prominent star, are one of the best teams this year. Having a player as dominant as Derrick Rose, along with best defense in the league, creates a combo that can easily win the East….but will it?

2.    Miami Heat |13-5|. (Watch the Throne [Kanye West & Jay-Z]): Two of the best in the business team up to make an incredibly loud and luxurious album. Sound familiar? LeBron and Wade, similar to Jay and Yezzy, never fail to impress the audience, creating a buzz with not only their skills, but also their persona. Will this confidence lead the Heat to return as Eastern Conference champs, or will they find themselves “watching the throne” from home?  
  
3.    Orlando Magic |12-5|. (Tha Carter IV [Lil Wayne]): Lil Wayne is nothing but consistent. Album after album, song after song, he finds a way to create hits. The Magic are no different. 8 of the last 11 years the magic have made a playoff appearance, winning 50+ games in the past four, all on the back of “Superman” Dwight Howard. But can this “6 foot 7 foot” center lead Orlando to an Eastern Title, or will the Magic once again find a playoff journey that’s far from “magical”?

4.    Atlanta Hawks |13-6|. (Pink Friday [Nicki Minaj]): Her debut album “Pink Friday” has become one of the most popular albums this year, appealing to many listeners worldwide. Nicki, like the Hawks, is relatively young, but with the skills of a veteran, and with wins over Miami and Chicago, the Hawks have shown they can compete. So will Joe Johnson and company “Fly” the Hawks to an Eastern Championship, or will they “Fall Like Dominoes” right out of playoff contention?

5.    Philadelphia 76ers |12-6|. (My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy [Kanye West]): This by far was my favorite album of the year. From its impeccable production, to its large, orchestral beats, MBDTF displays the classic soulful sound that Kanye is known for, and it’s easily won me over. The 76ers season so far has been no different, collecting a “beautiful” 12-6 start, with contributions from a number of players. However, the schedule that lies ahead can easily scare the average fan, with 11 of the 15 teams they face in February having above .500 records. Will the Sixers be able to survive what lies ahead or will their season take a “dark and twisted” decline to failure?
And the winner is?
The Miami Heat (Watch the Throne [Kanye West & Jay-Z]): Do I think they’re the best? Yes. Do I want them to win? Not really. But in the end they will. When two of the greatest combine it’s tough to deny them victory, so I see both the Heat and the Throne taking home their respective titles.
                -Note: In all honesty, I think “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” is the best album up there, and will in fact win the Grammy due to its true incredibleness, but since I matched it up with the Sixers I had to change my pick….Sorry Philly fans!
Our next award is……
The Award for Best Western Conference Team.
The Western Conference is just filled with exciting, happy-go-lucky teams, and what’s more exciting and happy-go-lucky than Pop Music. So we’ll equate this award to the Grammy for Best Pop Vocal Album.
The Nominees:
1.    Oklahoma City Thunder |15-3|. (21 [Adele]): Adele’s second studio album “21” is by far the front runner to win this award, as are the Thunder. The young talent puts her heart and soul into every song, and it shows. The Thunder perform the same way. Durant and Westbrook lead a young, scrappy team on what may be considered their “second album”, trying to create a buzz similar to last season. Will OKC find themselves “rolling deep” into the playoffs, or will their quick start eventually fizzle out?

2.    LA Clippers |9-6|. (Doo-Wops & Hooligans [Bruno Mars]): Bruno Mars’ debut album “Doo-Wops & Hooligans” has been surprisingly successful. This “feel-good” album has produced countless radio hits, and has become widely popular with fans. The Clippers, with the addition of CP3, are producing the same effect, creating what seems like their “debut album”, with many surely to follow. Can the theatrics of “Lob City” be enough to win the West, or will this “Grenade” of a team implode early on?  

3.    Dallas Mavericks |11-8|. (Born This Way [Lady Gaga]): Are the Mavs all that different from Lady Gaga? I mean when’s the last time you’ve gone to a Gaga concert and not seen Mark Cuban in the front row? Gaga is undoubtedly the best, or at least most recognized, pop singer today. Her out-there sound and controversial songs have shot her straight up the charts. The Mavs, like Gaga, are returning champs of this category, but have struggled early on, leading to some doubt that they can repeat. Will Dirk be enough to once again carry the Mavs to a Western Conference title, or will the compressed season cause this veteran team to find themselves on “The Edge of Glory”?

4.    LA Lakers |11-8|. (Loud [Rihanna]): Similar to Rihanna’s “Loud”, the Mambas have managed to have a pretty decent season without much of a supporting cast, mainly due to their newly coached Mike Brown defense. However, the Lakers are just 21st in points per game, even with Kobe scoring 40 a night, and in my non-expert opinion, that’s no good. From their off-season trade fiascoes to their early-season mishaps, LA has gotten off to a start that’s far from award-worthy, but they’re still hanging around. Will Kobe and that D be enough to carry them to a Western Title, or will the Lakers end up making a very “quiet” playoff exist?

5.    Denver Nuggets |13-5|. (The Lady Killer [Cee Lo Green]): Was Cee Lo Green better in Gnarles Barkley than on his own? Yes. Are the nuggets better on their own, than when they had Melo? Yes. See the connection? Me neither. I don’t have much to say about the Nuggets, or this album, because haven’t seen/heard them play, but it’s safe to say I’m surprised they both are where they are, and that’s in contention. Who would have thought the Gallinari/Lawson led Nuggets would lead the league in scoring, beating the likes of Miami, LA, and Dallas by a combined 44 points. Does this young long shot truly have a chance at winning the West, or will we just end up “forgetting” them like Cee Lo did that girl?....And can someone please tell me if that Nene guy has a last name, it’s been buggin me!
And the winner is?
The Oklahoma City Thunder. (21 [Adele]): This was much easier than my pick for the East. The West seems to be getting old, the Spurs, the Mavs, the Lakers; I don’t think they can hack it with the youth and speed of OKC, especially in a compressed season like this one. As for Adele, she’s clearly the best, and I fully expect her and the Thunder to take their Awards easily.
There you have it folks, the Heat from the East and OKC from the West. David VS LeBronith. Home Grown Talent VS The Big Three. Who will win? Who will take the Award for Next NBA Champ? I guess, if I had to pick, I would go with the Heat, so LeBron can finally win a ring and be happy. ‘Cause in the end, LeBron’s happiness is all that really matters, isn’t it?

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